Hey guys,
I have decided to stop blogging for the time being. I am on Facebook now and would love to connect with some of you on there. I'm on there as "Moriah Beth."
Anyways, thank you everyone for being amazing followers even when I wasn't a very good blogger. I might stop by and post something every few months but we'll see. Goodbye all, for now. 😊
Hello to anyone who still reads this blog.
Well, this week is the last week of my life being 15. Next week I'll be...
Hello all!
I am back! I know I’ve been gone for awhile. I would blame it wholly on being busy but that is not all of it. Now I have been busy... but I also didn’t feel like posting anything... so yeah. Well here I am. I feel like I should do a post telling y’all what has been going on in my life but.. I don’t feel like that right now. So here is a video of me playing the piano. Enjoy. And no, I am not singing. I don’t have the courage for that... yet. Plus I’m sure it would not sound good based on the quality of the video and stuff. 😁
🎵Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuaryPure and holy, tried and trueWith thanksgiving, I'll be a livingSanctuary for You🎵
To read part 1, click Here
**********
“You should probably get up soon,” came Hannah’s voice. She through the long drapes open, and light flew in. To me it seemed as though the sun had just finished setting and Hannah’s steps ceased to be heard. It took me a long second to remember last night for I had slept very deeply without waking.
“Good heavens! What time is it?” came my soft voice. My eyes where sealed shut for the morning light was blinding.
“Almost noon.”
“What?” My eyes flew open. I was shocked. How could I have slept that long and how could no one have woken me before now?“I thought we were to be at the church by 10?”
“We were, only the dreadful old man you are to marry has become ill. It seems he isn’t as young and healthy as your father made him out to be.” The old maid than began pulling out my clothes from my wardrobe and placing them on a chair.
“You mean I’m not to marry?” I sprang to my feet and my voice showed my joy.
“Well, you can’t get married without a groom. Jane is downstairs. She come to see you.”
“She is?” I pulled my robe from the end my bed and started to put it over my night clothes. “Oh Hannah, you are so right! But I believe that just as you cannot marry without a groom you should not marry a groom you have never met!” And with that I raced out of my bedroom hearing Hannah’s voice calling me to put on some proper clothes.
I found my cousin downstairs dressed all prim and nice with a hat and handbag. Never had I had a sister or any sibling for that matter and Jane had tried her best to fill that gap in my life. Only 3 years my superior and marriage had already come her way. Since my mother’s death we had become even closer. Her role as friend and sister had only depend. She also took on a part time role as mother. When I needed advice, I would ask her, and she was always faithful to reply.
As I neared the parlor, I noticed her figure sitting still on the sofa, waiting for my arrival. I entered and ran to her side.
“Jane!” Her face immediately rose along with her body. She embraced me with a hug, and I did so back. She stepped back to look at me still holding my hands.
“Are you well?” she asked.
“I’m alright,” I said with a bit of a sigh and quick closing of my eyes. “Just a bit tired. But did you hear? I am not to marry.”
“So did…” She was then cut off.
“You will marry,” came my father’s sharp voice. He took another step into the room. “Just not today.” My face lost its joy at my father’s words. “Your wedding has not been canceled. Only postponed to next week. The poor lad is just under the weather.”
I did not answer and neither did Jane. My father than paused before walked out of the room. I stood in silence as his footsteps echoed in my ears.
Jane caught the frown on my face and the pain in my eyes. She slowly began to rub my arm. For seconds we stood in silence.
“It’s not fair you know.” My emotions began to show. My eyes started to water as she pulled me to the sofa she had once sat on. Silence again made its way between us. Again, I broke it. “It’s a time like this that I miss mother the most. She would never let father go through with something like this.” I looked at Jane and knew she knew not what to say. She neither wanted to right my father’s wrong nor go against his authority.
For a long minute we sat in silence. She rubbed my hands while I cried. After time, I pulled myself back together and she handed me a handkerchief from her handbag. I wiped my face and she finally spoke.
“Are you going to the ball next week?”
That same question had been asked to me only hours before. First, I smiled at her attempt to change the subject and then a joy rose in my spirit.
I had always been fond of balls. I used to go to them quite often and had enjoyed myself very much. Dancing was a joy of mine and I was not half bad at it. But when I had heard of the palace ball, I did not think I would go. I was to be on my honeymoon. Now my honeymoon was canceled. At least for the week.
“Yes,” I answered with a smile. “I think I shall go to the ball.”
……….
4 days later:
Nock nock.
“Yes!”
“Excuse me Miss Annabelle,” said Hannah as she stuck her head in the door. “Your cousin Jane is here. Shall I let her in?”
“Oh yes!” I said quickly turning around from my mirror. “Yes of course! Let her in!” I stood up from my dresser and walked to my door. My cousin quickly emerged from behind the large maid.
“Did you finish it?” I pleaded.
“Of course, I did,” she said with giggle as she held up a large suitcase. Inside contained my gown. It had been a while since I had been to a ball and it seemed I had not yet stopped growing. There was not enough time nor money to have one made. So, Jane being the sweet and kind person she was, grabbed one of her old ones and decided to fix it up a bit. I told her no, but she insisted. She said the gown was too rich and bright for a married woman to wear. After arguing with her to no avail, I gave in. She said she would fix it up a bit and this I forbid. Still, she won. I told her not to do much on it but add some new detail to the top.
Quickly she took the suitcase to the bed and opened it up.
“Ohh!” I gasped. The pale pink dress looked so vastly different than it had before. She added much detail to the top and almost entirely changed the sleeves. She carefully pulled the dress out with her motherly hands.
“Oh Jane! You did too much!” I cried. I traced my hand on the detail.
“Isn’t it pretty?”
“Oh yes! You also changed the design of the sleeves.
“Don’t you like them? It’s the latest style!”
“Oh, absolutely! But it is too nice for me to were.” I met her gaze. “You should where it. It’s your dress and you did all the work!”
“Oh no! You will where it as I promised.”
“No Jane! I will not.”
“On, Annabelle! Do not be silly! I cannot even fit into it. The little one inside of me will let me fit into few things and that corset is not one of them!” A gasp escaped from my lips as she spoke those words and placed a hand on her stomach.
“Oh jane! No! You cannot be serious?” She nodded in reply. “Why did you not tell me?”
“I just did.” We both laughed and I embraced her with a hug.
“I am so happy for you. If I can ever be as happy as you, I will be content.”
“Oh, Annabelle,” came her sweet voice. “I pray and believe you will.”
For the next hour we talked and prepped for the ball. Mostly the first. She did my hair, and I did hers. Choosing jewelry was also something we had to consider deeply. We had never been to a palace ball before but knew it would be excrement elegant and prestigious . Rarely they were given widely. King Philip III had just become king and found it an excellent time to throw a ball. His father, King Philip II, had just stepped down from the throne due to his wife’s death. It was said that he no longer felt fit to rule a kingdom without his wife by his side. I thought it sweet and kind of him to honor his late wife so. His 38-year-old son was praised by many. Having married only 6 years earlier to a Spanish Princess he had been the favorite of many. They had one son whom they named Henry. I was glad of the end to the name Philip for it had been going on for a quite some time.
“I do believe you have done my hair too wild!” I said to my cousin as I looked in the mirror to admire my hair.
“Oh, you look just fine but we need to hurry and dress.” Jane was first to slip into her gown. A dark wine red it was and went well with her dark brown hair and olive skin. The sleeves cupped her shoulders and flattered her arms. It was full but not enough that it hindered her from getting through doorways. I complimented her and buttoned her up before It was my turn to put something over my undergarments. I stepped into the glorious gown and put my arms into it. It was much bigger than it had been, and I now know Jane had added at least a dozen more layers to it.
“Oh Annabelle!” cried Jane as I walked out from behind the dressing wall. “You look positively lovely.”
“Thank you,” I replied in almost a whisper. The dress was so large and beautiful that I felt like royalty in it.
……….
“Hurry or we will be late,” said George up the stairs. Jane and I quickly grabbed our gloves and started down the long stairway.
“Oh, George!” replied Jane to her husband as we made our way into his view. “We will not!”
“You two look simply lovely!” He cried. With wide eye’s, and a proud grin, he walked over to his young wife and placed his hand in hers. “Especially you, my dear.” Jane’s cheeks turned bright pink, but she did manage to reply a “thank you.” Jane was uniquely beautiful. Her skin and complexion where so naturally beautiful it seemed almost wrong. As a young girl she had always been told she was lovely and told without words from other young men. Still, she settled for one of the best men, I believe, that lives on this earth. The two had been married for a little over a year and still loved each other immensely. George 8 years her senior, still managed to act like a child and keep love alive. They had started courting on Jane’s 17th birthday. 3 years later, after George had bought a house and his affairs were looking brighter, they were wed with my uncle’s permission.
George offered gave his arm to his wife and she gladly excepted.
“I don’t know why you all are going to this blasted ball anyways,” spoke my father. I had asked him if he would attend but denied.
“Do not worry Mr. Henderson. We shall not be gone long. Do not worry about Annabelle we shall keep a close watch on her,” spoke George as he opened the door for us.
“Humph. You better bring her back before midnight. There is no reason to be gone that long.”
“Alright father,” I said in a soft voice trying to sooth his riled spirit. “I shall be back before midnight.” With that said I walked up to my father and placed a kiss on his check. Something I had not done in an exceptionally long time. A small smile peeked at the corners of his mouth, but I could tell he was trying to hold it back.
“Well dear,” he said as he patted my gloved elbow. “See that you do.” A pause came and then left. “You look very pretty tonight. Jane did a good job fixing up that old dress.” A smile again peeked at his mouth as he nodded toward my gown. I felt one spread across mine. From the way my father spoke I knew he had trouble saying those words, but it showed the truth in them. My father’s kindness to me brought back emotions from my heart that I, for so long, thought I no longer owned.
……….
My heart raced to the beat of the horses’ hooves on the cobblestone. Sitting in the carriage made the night feel so much more real than it had earlier. Looking out my window I saw the castle coming into view. Other carriages and buggies drove all around us. Some looked extremely fancy and expensive while others where plainer yet all looked fine. I was thankful that George and Jane had invited me to go with them for I was an afraid my father would not have let me go otherwise. My father told me it would not me right for an engaged young woman to be tossing herself around at a ball. Why he would condemn me, so I did not know. Never would I throw myself around like a doll. I did not flirt or giggle around men. If I ever did it would be when I was a young child and many years since.
Now though, I did not think of the words my father spoke. I only thought of the night that awaited me. Again, my head went back to the night I had tried to escape out my bedroom window and failed utterly. I would not admit it to a soul, but I longed to encounter the young man who had come to my rescue that night. The young man who had mirrored my image of escape and nearly scared the wits out of me. The young man whom I told the happening of my arranged married. Something I had not spoken to anyone. The young man with sandy blond hair and strong chin. The young man who called himself Fredrick. Yes, Fredrick. That he was. Fredrick.
“Will you be at the palace ball next week?... I hope to see you there!” His words floated in my memory and a smile spread across my face.
I tore myself from the window and found Jane smiling at me. She knew me better than anyone and had asked me many times if there was someone that kept making me smile at odd times. For reader, often around her I thought of Fredrick and a smile spread across my face. I only smiled back at her and returned to looking out of the window. I rubbed my gloved hands together as the castle grew bigger within approach. I would not let my fathers anger nor my own pride steel this night from me.
……….
“Thank you,” I barely managed to whisper as I stepped out of the carriage holding the footmen’s hand. If I said the night had become more real while we drove in the carriage, I spoke the truth, but it did not compared to how real everything felt at that moment. The castle was all lit up in the night sky. Women and men carefully walked up the long steps. Women held their large dress and men held their other hand.
“Come now,” came Jane’s voice awakening me from my thoughts and steady gaze. George and Jane stood in front of me a dozen or so steps.
"Coming," I said slowly. George and Jane turned around once more and continued there walk. My heart raced with excitement, but I was determined to soak every moment in. Carefully I picked up my large pale pink dress and started my climb. I had no escort to hold my hand, but I did not mind. If I had an escort, it might as well distract me from the magic of the moment.
Here I am reader, writing these words down on paper and struggling to give the full detail and wonder of this night. I shall try my best.
Lamps where lit on the stone walls of the cast. The lights flickering and moving. Those 3 minutes it took me to climb those steps felt like a dream. Women and men around me talked of the beauty of the night. Things like, “Look how lovely.” And “Darling look how grand.” “Oh, dear me I am so excited.” “Never have I been to a palace ball.” “It is so kind of King Philip to invite almost half the country!”
I looked towards the sky. Above the castle was the most beautiful pink moon I had ever seen. Its pale pink color was stunning and exceedingly rare. I had heard once about a pink moon but had never laid eyes on one until then.
**********
It had never been my intent to
marry young. Marriage itself had always been foreign to me. The thought of
marrying a man I had never met seemed completely out of the idea. Sadly, though
my father did not think the same. I wrestled with the idea of whether I should
consent to the marriage or make an escape in the dead of night. I had argued
with my father, but he would not listen. Half the time he was drunk which made
him of no use to talk to. He was as stubborn as a mule but so was I. Night
after night I lay motionless in my bed staring at the sealing and canceling my
ideas of making an escape that night. I thought of myself as fearless and brave
to achieve such a quest of escape but when the time had come, I would fail
utterly. Then the day came. The day at which I was to never sleep alone again.
To wear a ring on my finger and live with a man whose hair color I was void of
at present.
I had heard he was a man of fine health.
Was not in the least sickly. Though, I had never met nor seen him, so knew
nothing for certain. My father, who had arranged this so-called marriage, had
never met the lad, as he called him, either. He himself knew little and told me
less. Father’s strength was not speech, but neither was mine. Thankfully
though, I possessed some of what my mother had which was a witty tong and fine humor.
This situation though, I found neither witty nor humorous, as I think few girls
would.
That day was of the most pain I had
ever felt. When I was a young girl my mother had died leaving me alone in this
world, as I thought. The pain of that day and days after had been excruciating
pain. I never thought pain could be worse. Little did I know, for to have to
marry a man you have never met at the age of seventeen, without your mother’s comfort
nor wisdom was of more pain than my heart could bear. I had never missed my
mother more now than I did in the weeks after she died. My father did not know
how to raise me. After my mother died, he turned to the demon licker to fill
his emptiness. Though, one’s belly being full does not change the emptiness of one’s
heart and soul. That is one place that God alone can fill.
With our once fortune going to licker
my father began to run into debt and with debt came gabling and with gabling
came more debt. The debt rose those 4 years she was gone. Rose until my father
did not know what else to do but to marry me to someone with great abundance. Money
that is. We still barely had our home and most of our servants which made us
appear to be in fine standing, except to those who we were in det to. I still
had my dowry, thank God, for he had not yet turned it into licker.
Still my pain grew. My mind wrestled
all day with the escape I once again planned. I scolded myself for not having
done it the night before or the night before that. At dinner that night I took
but one bite of my food. My father had caught my nerves and assured me the
wedding jitters would soon pass and to not be afraid of the lad thinking me
pretty for I took after him. He was not drunk but continued at the glasses of
wine next to his plate. He then continued.
“Mrs. Lewis,” the mother of the lad
and my name to be, “is a fine woman and will make a fine mother-in-law. She has
assured me of her son’s capability to take care of you.” I heard this talk
before. At least a dozen times. Still, he talked, drank wine, and ate. He was
in a pleasant mood. I am sure it had nothing to do with great assistance of
wealth she would give him.
I had met the old hag but once. She came
calling one afternoon about a month ago to meet me and to assure her son’s
arrival before the wedding. I was to meet him but then it seemed he had a delay
in his trip around the world and would not get back till the day before the
wedding. I was grateful at first but then I saw that it still would have been
nice to know his looks and age before walking down the aisle. I did not want to
confuse him with the preacher. I assumed he was more than a “lad” as had been
thought, for his mother looked old enough to be my grandmother.
Apart from all these things, my
jitters came from the idea of him being in the same town as me. I would not go
outside nor glanced out my window, which faced the street, for fear of seeing a
man who happened to be him. His mother lived on the far side of King Burrow which
made it silly for me to fear seeing him. Still, I feared.
At last, my father finished his
dinner and I finished arranging mine on my plate.
“Well dear,” said my aged father as
he stood up from his chair and set his napkin beside his plate. “I think I
shall turn in early. I assume you are tired as well. Important day tomorrow.
You will need to get up early in order to get ready and look your best.”
Why should I look my best for a
man twice my age? I should look my worst and maybe halfway down the aisle he
will change his mind.
My father made his way to me and
placed a kiss on my forehead. Something that he seldom did. “Good night dear.”
“Good night,” I whispered back in a
voice he could not hear. My mind was in thought and my eyes unmoved as they had
been the entire day. Slowly but surely, I made my way out of my chair. I
grabbed a nearby candle and struck a match to light it. The sun had just
finished setting and its glow no longer lit the sky.
It took me a tremendous amount of
time to climb the long stairs to my bedroom on the second story. There was no
rush to make it to the top. Once I reached my room, I quickly packed a small
bag of clothes and things to make my getaway. As I did so I questioned whether to
make my way out a door or a window. Finally, I faced my optioned. It was but a
bit past seven and I knew the servants would be up for a few more hours. I
could leave out a door in 3 hours or so, or I could leave now out my bedroom
window. The later at which scared me a bit for I was up on the second story of
the house and death seemed a possibility. A possibility at which I did not
object to tremendously at the time.
I walked to my door and peeked out to catch a glimpse of a maid making her way down the hall. I knew the possibility of making my way out of a door of our house, without being spotted, were near impossible. My cousin Ella was to come to the house at 8. She was to be my bride’s maid and help me getting ready. I knew I needed as big of a head start as possibly to make the best getaway. The window did seem to be the best option for that. In making the decision I began to tie my bed sheets together as I had planned a few nights before. My body shook and I found it difficult to tie them. I opened my window and threw my carpet bag out to the ground below. The chilly night air met my face and made me shiver still I continued. Shakily I tied one end of my “rope” to my heavy bed and threw the tale out my window. With a large blow of air from my mouth I extinguished my candle. I then began my descend. It seemed easier than I had thought for the bricks against the house provided good grip for my feet. Slowly I glanced around to make sure no one was spotting me. The left side of our house was still and peaceful with not a soul in sight. When I turning to my right, I was shocked. I had been seen.
A human.
I almost lost my grip and fell.
A young man mirrored
my image from the house next door. His image was faint yet well in sight. This startled
me and took me a second to pull myself together. He too was climbing out of a
window but with a rope, which proved better than bed sheets. Our eyes locked
and he looked just as shocked as me. After a second he continued his climb and
landed his feet on the solid ground. I proceeded to try to do the same. Then is
when I fell. Straight down into the bushes below still holding my untrusted
sheet. Quite clumsily and I did let out a gasp despite my efforts to keep quiet.
The sheets which I tied together where of good condition, but I am afraid the
knots I tied where a different story. I blamed myself for my clumsy mishap
though it was not entirely my fault. I had never run away before and had never
been taught how to tie bed sheets together in a sufficient way to hold one’s
weight. Though I shatter to think of anyone who would give lessons on such a
thing.
From my position I saw the man’s
figure leap over the 4-foot wall which stood as a divider between my home and
the one he had come from. I sat up and began to dust off my legs. Thankfully, I
was near enough the ground that I was not sufficiently injured.
“Miss! Miss! Are you alright?” I
heard a voice nearing my present state on the lawn.
“Yes, I am fine. Thank you,” I said
as the young man bent towards me.
“It seems your bed sheets where not
tied together as well as they ought.” A grin spread across his handsome face as
he looked up at the remaining rope which still hung from my window. I let out a
small laugh.
“Indeed.” I started to try and
stand. He offered his hand and I accepted. “Maybe next time I will take your
example and use a rope.” Finally standing, I was able to see what he looks like
properly. He was a tall lean fellow with a full head of hair. It was light and
combed softly back or had been at one time. It seemed that the descend from his
window had caused the wave that had once been in his hair to array. He was
dressed in fine clothing. Nothing that would be worn by a king but not that
which would be worn by a beggar or servant for that matter. He most certainly
was that of a gentleman or a gentleman’s son.
His lips curved into a small smile and
then awkward silence grew between us. What were we to say? Two people who meet
while descending out of windows? Unheard of.
“What seems to be your reason to
climb out of your window at this hour?” He said breaking what ought to be
broke.
“Oh that?” I said with a laugh and
grin. My wit and humor seemed to kick in for the first time that month. “Well,
I always like climbing out my window at night. Good exercise. The night air is
good for the lunges.” A grin broke across his face as he looked towards his
feet. “No,” I sighed. “My wedding day is tomorrow. My father is forcing me to
marry a man I have never met, and I shall not stand for it.” Realizing the
words had just flew out of my mouth I picked up my bag that lay to my right.
Such things I had not spoken out loud and came as a shock to hear them with my
own ears. It was strange enough to say such things but stranger still to speak
them to a stranger.
“Married? Tomorrow morning? To
someone you have never met?” He said in a voice of confusion
but mostly something else that I could not pinpoint.
“Indeed. I’ve never laid eyes on
the man.”
“Really?” He let out a small
chuckle. I looked up at him with a confused brow and his laugh ended. “What is
the name of this scoundrel of man anyway? Does he live in these parts?”
“Mr. Theodore Lewis. Why? Do you
know him?”
“Oh, um really? A… I do. A bit...
But um ugh, not as well as I should, I believe.” My brows knitted as I again reflected
on this conversation which seemed very bizarre to be having with this man.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a pause.
“Forgive me. Fredrick.” He held out his hand and I again excepted.
“Annabelle,” I said as I shook his
hand and kept to my first name as he had. “And what is your reason for your
climb?”
“Oh,” he hesitated with a chuckle.
“Just some nightly exercise I guess.” As he said this a noise was heard from my
above window. The door to my bedroom was being opened. I looked up to my window
and could see the glow of a candle.
“Annabelle?!” came a voice from
above. A voice I had heard many a time.
“I think someone is calling you,”
he said quickly shifting his feet towards the wall he had just climbed. “Will
you be at the palace ball next week?” He began to run towards the wall.
“What? No…”
“I hope to see you there,” he said
with his eyes lit and a large smile on his face. “Goodbye!” And with that he
leaped over the wall. His figure disappeared from my eyes but still I looked. I
stood in shock for a moment at the sweetness Fredrick bore. A smile crossed my
face without thought of doing so, but my thoughts where soon interrupted.
“Miss Annabelle!” came the sweet
voice of the old maid. She stood perched over my window looking down into my
eyes with a candle in her hand. “What in heaven’s name are you doing down
there? You aren’t running, away are you?”
“Of course not,” I said with a
small grin and hesitation. “Just getting my nightly exercise that’s all.” Hannah
had seen me and would tell the other’s if she saw me run right before her eyes.
I knew I could no longer leave. Not that I any longer wanted to. The last month
without sleep finally hit me like a wall. The energy which I had possessed for
my getaway 10 minutes ago no long ran through my veins.
“Nightly exercise indeed! You will get
ill in this night air!”
“You’re quite right Hannah. I wish
to go to bed. Would you come down and open the door for me.” I surprised myself
with the words I spoke along with tone I spoke them in. I said them with a cheerful
voice that was calm and quiet.
Hannah did so as I had asked, and I made my
way to bed in fulfillment of my words. Hannah took my sheets from my window and
the lawn and put fresh ones on my bed. She closed my window and promised to
keep my nightly exercise a secret my from my father as I had asked her. The
plump women helped me dress for I found it difficult being in the daze I was. I ran the memory of my attempt to escape over
and over in my mind. Still, it puzzled me. Even after Hannah left me in my bed
to dream of fairies and what not I still found myself baffled. I truly wondered
if my fall had injured me more than I had thought. Quickly though I fell asleep
while wondering what made me no longer wish to flee my home. Perhaps it was my
injury or the sleep that awaited me. Or perhaps neither. Perhaps it was the unusual
meeting. Yes, it must have been. It must have been the bizarre young gentleman,
whose acquaintance I had just become.
I know it has been SO long since I have done a photo dump (I'm pretty sure they all got reverted to draft awhile ago.) I know y'all like photo dumps and I like others photo dumps... Well, I found a bunch of photos and here is a photo dump... lol
If he got me flowers, I might fall in love. If he told me I was pretty, I might fall in love. If he took me out and asked for a second date...
